A Strange New Town
by Hannah HasSpareTime
Summary: Welcome to Night Vale Episodes (And a bit more) from Carlos's POV. There will be a bit of Cecilos (unavoidable with this show, and it will get fluffy and maybe smutty but I don't know yet). Once I catch up, it will be updated with every episode.
1. Pilot

"Come on," said Carlos, fiddling with his GPS. He was late, and a scientist should never be late. It was crucial that he get to this odd desert town to meet up with his coworkers. Apparently, the town was a huge phenomenon that defies most of the laws of science... and reality. He banged the GPS on the dash in frustration. The radio fizzled to life.

"_A friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep. Welcome to Night Vale._"

Carlos listened through the piano music, lulled in by it's beauty and the almost hypnotic voice of the show host.

"_Hello listeners,_" cooed the voice on the radio. "T_o start things off, I've been asked to read this brief notice: the city council announces the opening of a new dog park at the corner of Earl and Summerset near the Ralph's._"

"Oh," Carlos thought aloud. "That seems rather nice-"

"_They would like to remind everyone that dogs are not allowed in the dog park. People are not allowed in the dog park. It is possible you will see hooded figures in the dog park. Do not approach them. Do not approach the dog park. The fence is electrified and highly dangerous. Try not to look at the dog park, and especially do not look for any period of time at the hooded figures. The dog park will not harm you._" He said this all in a relatively monotonous and dark tone.

"And now the news." said the voice.

The second Carlos heard that, he noticed that he had driven out of the endless desert and into a town. It was a beautiful town, though it contrasted the colors of the desert. It wasn't oranges and reds like you'd expect it to be. Night Vale was a city of blues and purples and blacks. His GPS still wasn't functioning, but somehow he'd have to find a way the lab to meet up with his team.

Parking in an old car lot, Carlos walked a bit further and came to a modest little house. He knocked and a small old woman answered. "Yes?" she said sweetly. Behind her, shadowy, threatening figures loomed.

Carlos couldn't say anything for sheer terror of the figures, so he ran. He didn't stop until he came to the door of the radio station. Maybe someone here can give me directions. A bit cautiously, he stepped in.

It looked like the entrance to any regular office building, except the walls and most of the furniture was purple or black. No one was at the front desk. Out of sheer curiosity, Carlos walked down the hall behind the desk a bit. He encountered no one but came to a door. Dear God. thought Carlos. Please be somewhat normal.

Opening the door, he found a man sitting in a large office chair. The man was surrounded by many old-looking machines and appeared to be talking to himself. "Hello," Carlos said. "I'm new in town and I was wondering-"

"A new man came into town today," said the man, turning in his chair and revealing himself. He had white hair, but tanned skin. Peeking out from under his clothes (he was rather well-dressed actually) you could see glowing and slithering tattoos.

Carlos gasped a little.

"Who is he? What does he want from us?" The man practically slithered around him, staring at him as if studying a piece of art. Carlos became uncomfortable.

"Why his perfect and beautiful haircut? Why his perfect and beautiful coat?"

"Er-I'm a scientist," Carlos managed to spit out. He was a bit confused by this other man.

"He says he is a scientist." The other man was still speaking into the microphone, which he had taken off the desk. He put an arm around Carlos. "Well, we have all been scientists and one point or another in our lives. But why now? Why here?" His eyebrow raised inquisitively. "And just what does he plan to do with all those breakers and humming electrical instruments in that lab he is renting—the one next to Big Rico's Pizza? No one does a slice like Big Rico's." Looking right into Carlos's eyes, he repeated, "No one."

Carlos stood there blinking as the other man slipped a piece of paper into his hand and continued with his broadcast. "Just a reminder to all of the parents out there..."

Carlos unfolded the paper.

_**The station management is probably after you right now. Run.**_

_**XOXO Cecil**_

Under that was a phone number, presumably Cecil's. Not wanting to know why the station management was to be feared, he ran out of the studio door and ran smack into an intern. "Do you know where Big Rico's is?" Carlos inquired.

""Down the street. Take a the third left and just keep going. You'll see it."

With a quick "Thanks!" for the intern, Carlos sprinted out of the station and over to Big Rico's Pizza.

"-and that's about it," finished one of the scientists. Carlos vaguely recalled his name was Dan.

"That's it?" said Carlos. "This whole town is insane! Do the citizens even know what is going on? They couldn't even understand why scientists were here!"

"Then let's call a town meeting or something," said Maybe-Dan.

"Can we do that?"

"I don't see why not."

Carlos was lost among the crowd of citizens. He was looking for at least some sort of platform to stand up on, to tell and ask the city of Night Vale what was going on. As he pushed through a crowd towards a bench he noticed, the old woman from earlier offered him a corn muffin. "They lack salt a bit, but the angels needed my salt for a mission."

Politely declining, Carlos continued through the crowd. When he finally reached and stood on the bench, the people went silent.

"People of Night Vale," he said in what he hoped was an official-sounding tone. "My name is Carlos, and me and my team of scientists have come to study your town."

No response.

"Your town is actually very interesting. In the world of science, we'd call it a phenomenon. You are probably the most scientifically interesting town in the US."

Yet again the crowd remained silent.

"I have come to figure out just exactly what goes on here," the scientist concluded and stepped down.

This time the crowd let out gasps of fear and started whispering to each other. As Carlos walked back to his lab, he caught bits and peices of it.

"Is he crazy?"

"The secret police won't like this."

"I fear for him."

Instead of going back to the lab though, the other scientists convinced him to check out this house in a development known as "Desert Creek".

"Okay Carlos," said Maybe-Dan. "You might need to prepare yourself mentally. What you're about to see makes absolutely no sense whatsoever."

Carlos let out a breath of air. "I'm ready."

Maybe-Dan led him over to a row of three identical houses. They were all a nice lavender color with white shutters. The doors, however, didn't fit the houses. They were old, oak doors with brass knobs. It didn't work with the modern style of the three homes. Looking at it more closely, Carlos began to think there may be only two. "Does the middle one even exist?"

"That's the thing, Carlos," another scientist, who Carlos knew was named Sam, jogged up behind them. "The middle one seems to exist, which would make sense, as it's between two identical houses, but it, in fact, does not. We ran experiments on all three houses. The results on the one in the middle showed that it does not exist."

"How odd," said Carlos. He began to ponder what might actually be going on.

"I dare you to go knock on the door," said Maybe-Dan.

"Come on, guys." Carlos rolled his eyes. "Let's just keep this professional."

"Fine." Maybe-Dan turned to Definitely-Sam. "I dare you to knock on the door."

"Why don't you?" Sam retorted.

"Because I dared you to."

Carlos walked away from the petty argument. Picking up a notebook, he jotted down a few scientific notes, and then ripped a different page out and wrote a note.

_**Cecil,**_

_**I am writing this to you for non-personal reasons. There's a house at Desert Creek that doesn't exist. It seems like it does, but my team had run several tests on it that proves it doesn't. It seems like it exists, like it's just right there when you look at it. And it's between two other identical houses, so it would make more sense for it to be there than not. But it is definitely not there. Now my team will not focus and merely stands on the side walk as they dare each other to knock on the door."**_

_**~Carlos**_

He folded it and handed it to another scientist nearby. This one was female, which was odd, because he didn't remember hiring any. Maybe she was an intern. "Take this to the radio station. Tell them it's for Cecil." The scientist was happy to oblige and started in the direction of the radio station.

Suddenly, another strolled up to him. "Carlos, we are getting reports from our station on Route 800 that there are high levels of seismic activity in the area."

"That's odd. I don't feel the earth violently quaking. Are the monitors broken?"

"We have been told no."

Carlos sighed and began to write another note to Cecil. A radio broadcast was probably the best way to get the word out. Or maybe you just want to talk to him. a little voice in the back of his head said. He shushed the little voice and folded the note. By then the intern had come back, and he told her he had another note for Cecil. She giggled and said, "You know, if you keep sending me to talk to your boyfriend, they'll offer me an internship _there_."

"He's not my boyfriend," Carlos automatically replied.

"Right," she said. "And Grizzly Adams didn't have a beard. You should hear the way he talks about you on his show. I wish I had a man that sweet."

"The way he- what?" Carlos was bright red with embarrassment.

"It's adorable. I'll show you what he says when you the replay is on later."

"When-what?" But the intern had already left. Maybe I should go visit Cecil later, just to make sure he got the letters.

He waited about two minutes before making his way towards the radio station.

Walking into the station, Carlos went straight for the studio. As he opened the door, he heard that beautiful voice.

"And now, the weather."

Cecil hit a button and then turned around. "Hello, Carlos," he said brightly. "What's new?"

"Did you get my notes?"

"Yep, and I told everyone out there what was going on. Station Management wasn't exactly happy, judging from the odd noise I've been hearing, but that's no big deal."

"Oh. I didn't mean to get you in trouble," said Carlos.

"No, no. It's fine. I'm always happy to help."

"Well thank you, Cecil."

After a long, awkward silence, Carlos's Iphone buzzed. He opened it. Sam was face-timing him. "Do you mind if I get that, Cecil?"

"No. It's fine. I bet it's important, scientific things."

Carlos clicked answer and it was not Sam's face that greeted him, but the voice of the intern. "HiCarlosit'sDanathesundidn'tsetattherighttimeandI'mkindofscaredbecauseeveryoneis-"

"Calm down, Dana. Speak slowly. What is going on?"

Dana breathed in and out deeply."According to the scientists, the sun set ten minutes too late. Now they're all just- well, look!"

She turned the camera and it showed all of the scientists sitting around a table and looking at a clock. They were all making strange noises.

"What's wrong?" asked Cecil, making Carlos jump. Carlos hadn't noticed, but Cecil was looking over his shoulder the whole time.

"The sun didn't set at the right time. It set ten minutes late."

"How can a sun be late? How can it have a set time in the first place?"

"Because science, Cecil."

"Oh is that Cecil with you?" said Dana. She turned the camera back to face her. "Oh look at you two. What an adorable couple!" Carlos began to protest but she cut him off. "Okay I have to go. See you Carlos! Bye Cecil!"

Carlos put the phone in his pocket and took out another device. "Do you mind if I test the place for materials?"

"Go ahead," said Cecil.

As Carlos turned on the device, Cecil watched him like a hawk, well, not exactly like a hawk. Cecil had this look of adoration and affection in his eyes, but Carlos barely noticed. The device beeped and lit up and spun around. Carlos's eyes widened. _No. There can't be that much of _that_ here._

He looked up at Cecil, who had a hopeful smile on his face. "Carlos, would you mind being interviewed for the show?"

"I'd love to Cecil, but I have to go back to the lab. You need to evacuate the building right now. It's dangerous. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Sure. Good-bye, lovely Carlos."

"That new scientist — we now know it's named Carlos — called a town meeting. He has a square jaw, and teeth like a military cemetery. His hair is perfect, and we all hate, and despair, and love that perfect hair in equal Woman Josie brought corn muffins which were decent, but lacked salt. She said the Angels had taken her salt for a Godly mission, and she hadn't yet gotten around to buying told us that we are by far the most scientifically interesting community in the U.S., and he had come to study just what is going on around here. He grinned, and everything about him was perfect, and I fell in love instantly."

"Now do you see why I thought he was your boyfriend?" Dana asked of Carlos.

"That's- that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said about me," he replied. There was even a tear in his right eye. "But my relationship with Cecil is strictly professional."

Dana put her face in her hand in annoyance. "It doesn't seem that way to Cecil."

_Or to me._ Carlos thought.


	2. Glow Cloud

"_The desert seems vast, endless, and yet scientists tell us somewhere, even now, there is snow._"

"_Welcome to Night Vale._"

_I told him that._ thought Carlos, sitting next to the radio in his lab. He had gotten into the habit of listening to Cecil's show every day. It was the best way to learn about odd events occurring in the community. The scientists were still investigating the house that doesn't exist, but Carlos had other science things to do.

After talking about the new Radon Canyon tourism posters, Cecil said, "_And now, the news._"

"_Have any of our listeners seen the glowing cloud that has been moving in from the west? Well, John Peters- you know, the farmer? He saw it over the western ridge this morning. Said he would have thought it was the setting sun if it wasn't for the time of day._"

_A glowing cloud? What could that be?_ Carlos had studied many clouds in his time, but he had never heard of one that glows.

"_Apparently the cloud glows in a variety of colors, perhaps changing from observer to observer, although all report a low whistling when it draws near._"

Carlos took out a notepad and began writing this down.

"_One death has already been attributed to the Glow Cloud. But listen, it's probably nothing. If we had to shut down the town for every mysterious event that at least one death could be attributed to, we'd never have time to do anything, right? That's what the Sheriff's Secret Police are saying, and I agree. Although, I would not go so far as to endorse their suggestion to run directly at the cloud, shrieking and waving your arms, just to see what it does._"

_Okay so the cloud can kill. Is it some sort of poisonous gas? Are there projectiles coming out of it? Should I run at it shrieking and waving my arms?_ All of these questions and more were running through his head. "Dana!" he called.

"Yes, Carlos?" She popped around the corner. Dana was now Carlos's favorite intern. She didn't mind running errands or to the radio station. She showed up every morning to the lab or site right on time, bright-eyed and bushy-haired. She was a good little intern and a decent scientist-in-the-making.

"Have you heard of this glow cloud?"

"As a matter of fact, I was just talking to John Peters- you know, the farmer? He said it was over by Mission Grove Park. Are we going to go see it?"

"No, Dana, we are going to examine it." Carlos plopped some testing equipment into Dana's arms. "We need to run tests and see what this thing is."

"We know what it is. It's a cloud." Night Vale citizens weren't very keen on questioning things. It must have been so nice to not question everything, as is the job of a scientist.

"You see Dana, that is where you are wrong. If death is attributed and it is glowing, it is definitely no ordinary cloud." He held the door open for her to load the equipment into the trunk. "And we are going to find out what it is."

So the pair drove out to Mission Grove and when they arrived, John Peters- you know, the farmer? was already standing in the middle of the park.

Carlos got out of the car and was greeted by a gust of wind that knocked him over. His long, black hair flew in his face. Someday I am just going to cut this all off. He stood up and brushed off his lab coat. Looking up, Carlos saw it.

The glow cloud.

It was a massive thing. The cloud was purple. No red. No blue. No pink. All of the colors were dizzying. Sure enough, Carlos heard the noise, the low whistling that accompanied the cloud. The light from the cloud was bright, and looking at it too long was like looking at the sun.

Helping Dana with the testing machines, he walked over to John Peters- you know, the farmer? and began to set up.

John barely acknowledged Dana and Carlos. He just kept looking at the cloud, but then he said, "Huh, would you look at that."

Carlos did. The glow cloud was now raining small animals. There were lizards and crows and rodents coming out of this giant cloud.

John Peters took out his phone. Carlos could hear a feint snarling noise coming from the other end of the line. "Hey is this station management?" More snarling. "Well can you tell Cecil that John Peters is looking at the glow cloud, which is directly above Old Town Night Vale, and it is now currently raining small mammals?" Snarl. "What kind of animals? I don't know. Crows, lizards, armadillos, that kind of thing!"

Dana was also on her phone, talking to Animal Control. "How soon can you get here? Are you on your way?" The intern was now yelling over the wind.

Carlos, meanwhile, was getting extremely informative readings. It appeared the cloud was, at the very least, a living thing. It was also currently moving towards them.

"Take cover!" screamed Dana.

Carlos, John, and Dana quickly went to huddle under some of the few trees in Mission Grove Park. Dead animals surrounded them, and suddenly, everything went black.

"ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY GLOW CLOUD."

"WE ARE BUT PATHETIC HUMANS. WE MUST HAIL THE GLOW CLOUD."

"THE GLOW CLOUD IS SUPREME."

"ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY GLOW CLOUD."

Carlos, John, and Dana came to. "What just happened?" Dana asked Carlos.

"Well- I think- I think the glow cloud just passed over us." He looked at the pile of dead small mammals outside of the trees. "Yes it was definitely the glow cloud."

"So it has some weird mind control abilities?" said John Peters.

Carlos merely looked up in horror as the glow cloud was floating away.

Floating towards the Night Vale Community Radio Station.

_Cecil._

Carlos made a break for it. He ran after the cloud. Dana caught up to him, grabbing his lab coat. "It's fine," she said. "Cecil is indoors. He'll be okay."

Instead of calming down, Carlos ran to the car. He put the keys in the ignition and turned on the radio.

"_The Glow Cloud does not need to converse with us. It does not feel as we tiny humans feel. It has no need for thoughts or feelings of love._" Cecil's voice was terrifyingly monotonous.

"_The Glow Cloud simply is._"

"_All hail the mighty Glow Cloud!_"

"_All hail!_"

_Oh no._ Carlos thought.

"_And now, slaves of the Cloud, the weather._"

As the music began to play, Carlos couldn't help but laugh. Cecil always insisted on playing a music track instead of the actuall weather. "It's hot and dry- what else is new?" he would say. The glow cloud could control him, at least temporarily, but Cecil was fine.

And so Carlos and Dana drove back to the lab. That was enough for them that day.


	3. BONUS: Dot Day

**_Not an actual episode, but I wanted this in here. This would take place two days after the glow cloud incident so chronologically this makes sense. It's a bit fluffy, but it's also meant to develop Carlos as a character so I'm sorry, but deal._**

Carlos woke up with a yawn and a stretch. He went and changed from his pajama lab coat into clothes and a daywear lab coat. He went and brushed his teeth and yanked the knots out of his hair. Looking the mirror though, he saw something odd.

A little red dot.

It was there, a little red dot sticker, right on the tip of his nose. Then he remembered. It was Dot Day, a little Night Vale holiday where you put red dots on what you like and blue on what you don't. Somebody actually liked him. That was weird. Growing up, he had always been picked on, being that he was the geeky science boy. Not even his own parents had liked him much, given that they had abandoned him.

He looked at in the mirror, and though the name on the dot was backwards, he could tell what it said.

So instead of going downstairs into his lab, as usual, Carlos walked right out the front doors and to the radio station.

He walked past the front desk and to the door where he knew was the entrance to Cecil's studio. Carlos opened the door and found Cecil setting up for the show. "Hey Cecil," he said.

Cecil stumbled and dropped some papers. He turned around, smoothing his hair. "Hi Carlos."

"I noticed the dot that you left on my face."

Cecil was bright red. He couldn't seem to speak,"I-uh-er-"

Carlos took one of his city-granted ration of red dots and stuck it right on Cecil's nose. "No one has ever told me that they liked me before. Thanks for being such a good friend."

"Yeah. A friend. Yeah." Cecil finally noticed the papers that he dropped and went down to pick them up.

"Well I suppose I better get going," said Carlos. "Happy Dot Day, Cecil."

"Happy Dot Day, Carlos."


	4. Station Management

Carlos wasn't quite _there_ in the lab that day. His physical presence was there, of course, but his mind was wandering off. So, in the process of running tests on some sand in the Night Vale area, he ended up causing an explosion.

He wasn't hurt, but part of his hair had been singed off. Carlos shook his head as if to clear out his thoughts, made a mental note to visit a local barber, and resumed science. Night Vale sand was so fascinating. The color was odd, and changed in the light. It would go from a normal tan to a dark, blood red. The state of matter it was in was still not quite solid, and it was completely smooth. Carlos had found absolutely no rocks, and all grains of sand appeared to be the same size when observed under a microscope. Also, judging from the explosive fire that had ensued from mixing it with water, it had quite a lot of potassium in it.

Looking back on the event, he can't remember what he was thinking of before the explosion.

Telly's Barber Shop was just a block away from Carlos's lab, on the corner of Southwest 5th Street and Old Musk Road. He was greeted by a spinning, red and white pole with a sign that read "Telly's". It was fairly normal and out of place for this town, a cityscape of oddly colored buildings.

He was also greeted by a fairly normal man too, the typical barber. Telly was shorter than Carlos, not even 6 foot, and had a pot belly and a small mustache. The barber also really needed a shave, a shadow on his chin. In the regular world, Telly would be described as shady-looking.

"Good day sir!" exclaimed Telly, with a very thick accent that Carlos couldn't identify. He extended his hand towards Carlos.

"Um... Hello," said Carlos, tentatively shaking Telly's hand. "I need a hair cut. And can you make it short? I have to get back to the lab quickly."

"Of course." Telly lead Carlos into the shop and seated him in a chair towards the back. The barber whipped out cloak and wrapped it around Carlos's neck

"So, why you gettin' a hair cut?" Each word Telly spoke had a bit of a sneer to it.

"Well, you see, I was mixing substances at the lab and-" He gestured to the part of his hair that had been singed off. "-this happened."

"I see. I'll fix you right up!" Telly grabbed a scissors and got to work.

Carlos sat and watched as Telly cut his hair, but then noticed something. "Hey! That's a bit too short!"

"You said 'make it short'."

"I meant quick!" Carlos swore mentally. He had liked his long hair. Had. And Cecil liked it too.

"I am sorry," said Telly. "But now I must even it out."

_Oh well. Let's just hope it looks nice._

Telly snipped a bit more off and took out a hand mirror. He showed Carlos from all angles. "What do you think?"

Carlos thought it looked nice, and his head, oddly, felt a bit lighter. _Cecil won't like it though._ thought Carlos. Being polite as he was, he smiled at Telly. "Thanks. It looks really neat."

Then the scientist payed the barber and headed back to his lab.

Once he got back to the lab he resumed his study of the sand. He plopped himself into a chair and turned on the radio.

"_I am going to see if I can make a break for the door. If you don't hear from me again, it has truly been a pleasure. Good night, Night Vale. And goodbye!_"

_What's going on?_

A couple of minutes later, Cecil burst into the lab. He was gasping for air.

"Cecil. What's wrong?" The other man was out of breath, his hair and clothing in disarray and his tattoos not glowing as vibrantly as usual. Carlos pulled up a chair and had Cecil sit down.

"Station management got loose, so naturally I ran for my life. Didn't you listen to my broadcast today?"

"No. I had to get a hair cut."

Cecil's eyes widened. "But your hair was so perfect."

Carlos couldn't help but laugh a bit. The show host had just escaped some terrible creature, yet all he cared about was Carlos's hair. "There was an accident."

"How terrible!" said Cecil. "Thank heavens you're okay." He brought Carlos in for a bit of an awkward hug.

Carlos froze, but then put his arms around Cecil and patted his back. "It's okay Cecil. It's okay."


	5. PTA Meeting

_A pteranodon. How the _hell_ does a pteranodon get loose in a modern city?_ Carlos barely knew what a pteranodon was, let alone how to react should you find yourself facing one.

As it happened to be though, the answer was not to play dead, as it is with some large animals. Now Carlos was running as fast as he could towards the City Council meeting hall, where he meant to weigh in on the issue of the door. The pteranodon, however, having the unfair advantage of flight, was gaining quickly, so the scientist ran faster.

After a few more seconds, he noticed the pteranodon had stopped, and was now looking at something on the ground. I must have dropped something. Carlos felt his pockets and realized what he'd dropped.

His lavender chewing gum was no longer in his pocket.

He sighed. _Well, I suppose that it's better that that get eaten rather than me._ Lavender chewing gum is very hard to find, and Carlos doubted they carried it in Night Vale stores.

However, now the pteranodon's attention shifted back to him for a moment, so Carlos ran yet again. His running was quickly halted when he tripped over something.

First glancing around for his winged pursuer, then deciding that the coast was clear, he examined the object. It was black, rectangular, and smooth. He felt around it, and found no bumps or what would be imperfections. The oils on his skin wouldn't smudge the surface, which he could not identify the material of. A little electric current would spark up when you touched a corner.

Then there was a screech that reminded Carlos to run again. Picking up the rectangle, Carlos started again in the direction of the meeting.

When he got there he burst through the doors, just in time to hear Old Woman Josie say, "That old door. Oooh, that door! Someone's gonna get some kind of lead poisoning!"

The City Council members were all standing behind podiums, all 12 of them. To anyone average citizen of Night Vale, Carlos supposed, they looked normal. To Carlos though, they were incredibly strange. Of course they looked humanoid, but they had these weird markings, that all seemed to be invisible, but still visible. Can anyone else see those?

The City Council nodded in perfect synchronization. In unison, they all proclaimed, "You make a valid point, Old Woman Josie, and for that, we have to agree with you. We will take down the lead door to prevent lead poisoning."

Carlos couldn't say anything, he just looked down at the rectangle in his hands in despair. "There is no time. No more time." He had wanted to tell them all about the readings he had taken on the door that morning. What was behind it appeared to be some form of radiation, but he wasn't 100% sure if it was dangerous yet. Radon Canyon, however, is also a scientific miracle in itself. Tampering with anything, even just removing a door, could damage the sensitive environment.

Once the City Council reached a decision though, there was no going back, so Carlos left the meeting hall and walked back to his lab.

He was greeted by Dana, who aside from being his favorite intern, was now his last surviving one (Some people just can't handle the science necessary in today's society.). "So Carlos, what's new?"

"This." He placed the rectangle down. "Grab me a fresh lab coat and some safety goggles. We've got some tests to run."

He determined that the rectangle was some sort of odd rock. Dana told him it was made by a small up-and-coming company in Desert Bluffs after doing further research. Supposedly if you had the right materials, you could turn it on and it would function as a computer tablet "to make you more productive".

Carlos sent Dana out to go get him some of this chemical (which was only made in Desert Bluffs). Then he turned on the radio.

There was a great deal of static, so much that he could barely hear Cecil. "_Alright! I don't think he's going to stop, and he's started to levitate, so, let's go to the weather._"

["Closer" by The Tiny: watch?v=S6kPXH9HJvE]

Carlos loved indie music, so he really didn't mind not knowing the weather forecast.

_"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have just received word from Secret Police that the rip in space-time that opened at last night's PTA meeting has been sealed at last. The final missing pterodactyl has been returned to its own timeline in either prehistoric or alternate-universe Night Vale."_

_"The creature's lifeless body was found a dozen yards outside of the Dog Park entrance, stripped of all flesh, and with most of the organs inverted and strung around its exposed skull like an old fashioned soft meats crown, as worn by the 18th century religious leaders who settled our fair burgh."_

_"The dinosaur's body was returned to the vortex, the gateway closed, and the PTA meeting rescheduled for next Tuesday at 6:00 PM. That meeting will continue to address the important issue of backpacks, and whether or not they are causing autism."_

Carlos and Dana sat by the tablet, listening intently. The chemical retrieved had made it work, and it happened to turn out that the device also functioned as a radio.

"I know for a fact that backpacks don't cause autism," said Dana firmly. "It's obvious, but there are some people who may or not be... ignorant of what backpacks really do. I mean, how else would we keep the kids silent and conforming?"

The scientist was about to say something, but let it go. He was finally getting used to the weird and dangerous lives of children in Night Vale, which were now a little safer without dinosaurs terrorizing the city. Carlos just that should another PTA meeting cause a rip in time, that it brought through something a little more studiable.


End file.
